Paralysis by Analysis

Paralysis by Analysis describes the state of inaction due to spending time analysing the available options. Take choosing something to watch for instance, we now have so many options to choose from, there are over a hundred channels, showing a range of genres and sub-genres. Once you have chosen a program to watch you are then posed with where and when to watch it, do you watch it now, in an hour or on demand, or the TV or on the computer. I often just end up watching whatever channel I was on because I can’t make a choice.

I am currently in this state in many areas of my life. Let’s start with this blog, do I want to be more Carrie Bradshaw or Bridget Jones. With Bridget I could amuse (or bore) you with statistics such as the number of miles ridden, number of calories consumed, number of times I have looked at what friends describe as “bike-porn”. If I choose Carrie I could amuse you with witty anecdotes about the number of men ridden, only problem with this is the lack of men presently in my life (also do I really want to share this with the world?). Which would you rather read, what would I rather write, what should I write about, or should I just try to be myself and see where that takes me?

If I were to channel Carrie it would only be fitting to get an amazing wardrobe. This in itself brings me into this. When I was overweight I was limited to just one clothes shop. If I wanted a pair of jeans I would go into the shop and look for what they had in my size and decide between blue or black jeans? Now I stand in the high street and decide which shop I am brave enough to go into, once this decision is made I go into chosen shop. There I am posed with more options, do I want regular or long length, bootleg, skinny, straight, flare cut, what size am I in this shop. All of these choices in addition to whether I want blue or black jeans. I then find myself stumbling out of the shop (without jeans) in a state of dazed confusion wondering if it was jeans that I really wanted in the first place.

During recovery from duck-incident I took up running as an interim exercises pre-getting-back-on-the-bike. I have always thought that I hated running, things jiggle that shouldn’t not to mention that it is DULL. Annoyingly I found that I actually enjoy running. Why would this be annoying? It just gives me too many options. Do I want do a marathon, or the L’Etape du Tour, or the pier-to-pier swim, or triathlons? Whilst analysing my options questions are raised, what if whilst training the “string” holding my shoulder together snaps? How much will it cost? What if I get back on my bike and this time hit a giraffe? I’ll admit the last one is a bit ridiculous (given that I live in London) but what is the likelihood of being knocked of you bike by a duck?

I know that I need to make a choice, stick with it and see it through. This paralysis is doing me no good, time is passing by but what if I make the wrong choice, what if I decide that I don’t like running, what if a man comes onto the scene and he doesn’t like runners/cyclists/runners, what if I don’t like the person I become? What if asking by asking what if I am just wasting time?

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About marystumbles

These are my thoughts as I stumble through life.
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3 Responses to Paralysis by Analysis

  1. Sarah hunt says:

    Great blog Mary. There’s no wrong decision. go with what you fancy and when you’ve done that you can move on to the next thing. We’re running the edinburgh marathon in may and Berlin in september. Fancy joining us? Sx

  2. Pingback: Fear | marystumbles

  3. Martin Hornsey says:

    Did you know I used to blog? I stopped when I’d reached a critical point where I had different groups of friends, colleagues and a fair few complete strangers, all tagged onto my friend list. The problem wasn’t that I had nothing to say. The problem was that I no longer knew who the person writing the blog was supposed to be.

    There’s a lot of management & self help *(I personally think these two genres are basically the same thing. Management books just contain more pictures) advice out there about being yourself, and revealing everything about yourself to those around you. It is supposed to encourage trust and to show confidence, as well as allowing you to relax and not worry about who knows what. Unfortunately, I’m a paranoid intravert with a very heavily compartmentalised social life. I keep my friend groups separate out of long habit, probably because of developmental experiences – a bad break-up I had where I lost my entire friend circle (my best friend & my girlfriend. Cliché enough for you?)

    So, in the blog, I found I couldn’t write anything without worrying how every group would interpret it, so I ended up writing nothing at all. Now, all I’ve got is my Facebook page, which I’m deliberately keeping bland for future job-hunting purposes, and a dead lj that has so many carefully considered friend filters that you’d think I was playing a giant game of “Who’s who?”

    I’m not sure if there’s a relevance or lesson in any of that. If there is, you’ll have to decide for yourself. From my purely selfish perspective, however, I’m hoping you keep putting stuff on the blog and don’t hold back on interesting observations due to indecision over how you want the blog to feel. Your writing style is very good, keep going and don’t become a shallow fictional character, please!

    Oh, and if you do decide to run the Edinburgh marathon, let me know & I’ll see you there.

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