I haven’t blogged for a while, mostly because I didn’t feel like I have anything to blog about. It has been 14 weeks since I broke my collarbone and I have just been trying to get through as best I can. I have been a bit all over the place, I have lacked focus, direction and motivation. I have been incredibly frustrated and just been thoroughly fed up. Cycling is a sport and activity that I love. Living vicariously though friends and watching it on TV can sometimes add to my frustration or inspire me.
Since I broke my collarbone I have seen the doc 3 times, just after the accident, 1 month and two months. I have been trying to keep positive and gone into the month and two month appointment hoping to be given the OK to ride but instead get the message “it’s healing but you can’t ride yet”. At my last appointment it was “you can’t ride your bike but you can swim” great, they are exactly the same sport! I have been trying to make plans, keep on turbo training, keep fit but it is hard.
I did a turbo session a couple of weeks ago which was particularly disasterous. Exercise gives me a chance to clear my head and focuses my mind on what it is that I want to achieve, well usually. I planned an hour turbo session but after 25 minutes I was on the verge of breaking down in tears. My collarbone was hurting and I was just getting myself in a worse (rather than better) head space. I felt like I was quitting and giving up on myself. I have lost fitness and put on weight. I currently weigh 13st 13.5lb and want to be around 12st 6lb, so I want to lose 20.5lb
I have my next appointment soon and am (maybe foolishly) hoping to be given the OK to ride. However I am beginning to feel more positive and am starting to focus on what it is that I want to achieve and what I can do, rather than what I can’t. I can exercise (even if it isn’t the exercise I really want to do) I can swim, I can walk, I can turbo. It feels like the tide is beginning to turn.